recession hits everyone

The recession has hit everybody really hard. My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries. CEO's are playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them